Hey, do you remember that one time like 900 people drank Kool-Aid (actually it was a Kool-Aid knockoff called Flavor Aid, but this shit happened before some of us were even born, so there’s no need to split hairs) with cyanide in it? You know, because their psychotic cult leader told them to? And then they died horribly? Well, that was extremely similar to what happened to me when I started the new South Atkins Sugar Beach Diet. At first, I didn’t think it would work, but then I completely drank the Kool-Aid, and now I can’t stop talking about it.