what’s in a name: the salvation army

We’re looking for a name for our charity. Preferably something that evokes a large military operation designed to convert heathens to Christianity. The Crusaders? Convert or Die? The Burning Heretic? Play around with it. I’m sure you’ll think of something better.

The Salvation Army used to be a Christian missionary organization. They didn’t kill people or anything, but they did fancy themselves members of God’s own army.*

It’s a charity now. I know this. But whenever I see someone ringing a bell and collecting money for The Salvation Army, I wonder if it has occurred to anyone who works there that maybe they ought to think about changing their name to something more charitable, like The Super Jesusy Fun Squad or The Church of Not Converting People By Force.

*Notice the assumptions implicit here: 1. God exists. 2. God wants/needs an army. 3. We’re it.