compassionate conservative

Okay, look, we’re not going to fight about politics today. That’s not what we do here. I’ll let you decide how you think “compassionate conservatives” are different from regular ones.*

But in general, be wary of people who can’t wait to tell you how compassionate they are. In fact, watch out for any person too eager to share any of his or her personality traits with you. Next time you hear the term “compassionate conservative,” I hope you’ll imagine a grinning stranger shaking your hand aggressively and saying, “Hi, I’m Honest John, and this is my friend Not-Racist Mike.” John may indeed be honest and Mike might be the least racist person you’ll ever meet in your life, but you’ll be understandably skeptical until you see how each man acts.

Also, if you belong to a group that makes you feel like you have to let other people know you’re compassionate before you even name the group, maybe it’s time to find some new friends.

*As far as I can tell, the difference is that compassionate conservatives care about poor people but don’t think the government should help them, whereas regular conservatives don’t necessarily give a crap about poor people and also don’t think the government should help them.