agenda

Maybe you’ve heard your friends on the internet fretting about the Islamic agenda, the radical feminist agenda, the gay agenda, the atheist agenda, the liberal agenda, or the conservative agenda.

Everyone has an agenda. We all have ideas about how things should work, how people should act, what people should think. But if you pay attention, I think you’ll notice that nobody ever uses the word “agenda” to describe his or her own ideas.

An agenda is what those other people have. Those scary, unreasonable, crazy — yet highly organized — people who all want exactly the same things. They meet twice a month at their secret headquarters to vote on the agenda. Every vote is unanimous because those people can’t think for themselves.

Do you see what’s going on here? They have an agenda. We are just trying to do what we think is right. The fact that it’s never the other way around should give us pause. It probably won’t, but it should.